Sunday Reflections... More Glimspes of The Realities...
Woke up to a rainy morning… I could hear it hitting the pavement outside. It wasn't a downpour but, steady enough… It fit the mood I'm in. Got up and puttered out to the kitchen and made some coffee… put on some Audioslave (Chris Cornell & Rainy days are a perfect match) to listen while, sitting down in front of my laptop as, I begin reflecting on the events that have been taking place!
Yesterday, I said goodbye to a long time friend. He never knew that I had become an escort and, I am thankful for that because I truly believe had he known, it would have broken his heart. Shattered his illusion of me. There are so many people in my personal life that have no clue that I am a sex worker (sounds so clinical when it's referred to that way). I felt like an award winning actress mingling with friends of days gone by and another life ago. It was very awkward at times and, most of them wanting to know what I've been doing with myself as, some of them haven't seen or heard from me in years.
I am thankful that I have a legit job and, was able to navigate some pretty intrusive questions from friends and family. It's hard living this double life and, every day it gets a little more harder. On the drive back, my back passenger tire blew out and, of course, when I renewed my insurance I didn't opt for full coverage that would have provided roadside assistance… nope!!! And, do you think I could get a hold of anyone I knew that could help me? Nope! I wound up having to call a tow and, have it brought to a service station… I'm sure that you can imagine the small fortune that it cost me to have my car towed and, a new tire put on my car!
If, this is too much reality for some Gents... I apologize! But, this is my life... Yes, I am an accomplished pleasure companion but, I also have a real life with real life problems every day!
I'm thinking of making some more changes... (lol) I know! I know! I can't seem to make up my mind what I want to do!
I am still desperate to get to Nashville... even more so today! My roommate informed me that she gave notice to the office of the apartment that she will be moving out November 15th. Things have been very slow in the escorting business for me here in Knoxville... I don't mean to sound pathetic but, last minute cancellations and *fantasy bookings have been the norm for a couple of weeks now. It's hard to save up the money to move when one thing after another keeps happening and no one in Knoxville is booking dates! (serious sad face)! I still have my regular bills to pay and, after what I make from my civvy job... it doesn't leave much to try and put back... Now, having to spend money on a tow and a tire has set me back even further! It seems that I just cant catch a break!
My job in Nashville is waiting on me to get out there... but, I can't go until I have the money for a place to live. I can't afford a weekly extended stay hotel and, to be quite honest... I don't trust leaving my personal belongings in a hotel room for extended periods of time while I'll be out working my civvy job!
Sooooo... if, anyone has any ideas or suggestions I am all ears!!!
Gents... It's hard to feel sexy and, promiscuous when I'm faced with being on the verge of homelessness!!!
It is very frustrating to say the least to know that the changes that I want and need in my life are within my grasp but, I just cant quite reach them!!!
I apologize for being in a solemn mood today...
Tomorrow's another day...