Wanna Know What's On My Mind???

Sunday Reflections... More Glimspes of The Realities...

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Woke up to a rainy morning… I could hear it hitting the pavement outside. It wasn't a downpour but, steady enough… It fit the mood I'm in. Got up and puttered out to the kitchen and made some coffee… put on some Audioslave (Chris Cornell & Rainy days are a perfect match) to listen while, sitting down in front of my laptop as, I begin reflecting on the events that have been taking place!


Yesterday, I said goodbye to a long time friend. He never knew that I had become an escort and, I am thankful for that because I truly believe had he known, it would have broken his heart. Shattered his illusion of me. There are so many people in my personal life that have no clue that I am a sex worker (sounds so clinical when it's referred to that way). I felt like an award winning actress mingling with friends of days gone by and another life ago. It was very awkward at times and, most of them wanting to know what I've been doing with myself as, some of them haven't seen or heard from me in years.

 I am thankful that I have a legit job and, was able to navigate some pretty intrusive questions from friends and family. It's hard living this double life and, every day it gets a little more harder. On the drive back, my back passenger tire blew out and, of course, when I renewed my insurance I didn't opt for full coverage that would have provided roadside assistance… nope!!! And, do you think I could get a hold of anyone I knew that could help me? Nope! I wound up having to call a tow and, have it…

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My apologies...

I had fully intended on continuing to tell my tale of how I became a pleasure companion so late in life but, I was thrown a curve this evening when I got home. A dear friend that I have known since I was but a teenager has passed away. He was the same age as, I am. Words cannot fully express the grief that I am feeling right now. I watched him grow from a scraggly all elbows and knees teenager, to a handsome young man to a bear of a middle aged man to a man that life dealt some sever blows to! Thru all the years, he always was able to make me smile, make me laugh and, never let me forget how special I truly was!

He will be greatly missed!

RIP David... I will always love you for who you were... my dear friend!

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Reality... cont....

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Hello Darlings...

I hope I didn't leave you hanging... :-)

Where were we?

Ohhhhhh yeah... Oklahoma!!!

Ya know... the entire time I was down there working my ass off, it never even crossed my mind to become an escort and, I sure could have used the relief, sexual and financial down there. But, I held my own and, didn't really want to come back to TN. But, with the news that I was going to be a grandmother for the third time... this time a baby girl... I couldn't stay away! I packed up my cat and, what I could fit in my car and made the drive back to TN. I stayed at my son's place for a few weeks helping out with my granddaughter until it was time to find my own place. I landed a job in Oak Ridge and, did very well there... that was until ex husband #3 found out that I was back in town. Then it just all kind of went to hell from that point on. I wont go into details but, it was just another heartbreaking experience that I'd like to forget about...

I lost my good job... (my own demise) and, went to go work for a local business that specialized in alterations. I worked there for almost a year but, I was very VERY lonely! A friend of mine signed me up for a social site called Tagged... I met a couple of gents there... 1 bad... 1 good... the 2nd gent introduced me to the world of phone sex!!! Ohhhhhh My!!! Something stirred in me that I hadn't felt in a really long time... the need to be desired! I've always been told that I was a very pretty lady but, I never put much thought into it…

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So Much More Than Meets The Eye… A Glimpse of Reality in a Business Built on Fantasy!!!

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A woman who chose to be a "Pleasure Companion" later in life…

At 48 years old, I made a desperate decision based on my need for immediate financial  assistance.

My college education provided me with nothing more than additional monetary burdens.

Divorced, living on my own with just my one kitty cat… I knew I had to do something!

I've always been sexually promiscuous to an extent… Always willing to try new things but, at the same time, feeling self conscious and shy. I was brought up to believe that if, a woman desired anything other than normal (missionary style) sex that, she was a deviant, had no morals or self respect for herself. To masturbate… that was something done in a private and secure setting where no one would see. I started masturbating at the age of 14… (lol) I got pretty creative with ways of accomplishing that feeling of extreme pleasure from climaxing.

When, I finally began dating… I knew what I wanted but, good girls didn't go all the way or, even half way back then. It was a very frustrating time in my life. When, I finally met my first love… we were a perfect match! He was a willing and enthusiastic partner in trying new things. We tried all kinds of crazy things… never EVER put BenGay on/or around your genitalia!!! I was all of 18 years old when we tried that! OMG!!! Worse pain ever!!! I became pregnant at a early age… I was 19 when I delivered my son.

The marriage although fueled by passion quickly descended into a a smothering overwhelming deluge of resentment. I loved my son but, the love I had for his father turned to bitterness and betrayal. I

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